Tuesday, September 22, 2009

In love with my husband

I just found this poem that I wrote when I first told Zach I loved him. It was in the middle of September, not long after we started dating! It's sweet remembering those brand new feelings. I never gave it a title, but it feels too late to add to it now.


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Today I told him

that I love him.

It was like finally telling

the truth.

He banished all worries of

my youth.

I have been freed now

that I love him.


Oh, I love him.

And the air between us

grows thin.

We brush it aside as the room starts

to spin.

I am crystal now

that I love him.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Anastasia- a brain draft

*__EDIT__* When I say "brain draft," I literally mean I'm dumping stuff out of my head. I feel a little embarrassed, because this is not the greatest writing. I was looking for feedback on the actual idea, which I got! =] Still deciding whether or not to continue with this story.

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Anastasia was everything you'd never expect in a princess. You probably think of the lost duchess the way they show royalty in movies: an idyllic, demure princess with a smile behind her lips, just waiting for her lost birthright to be returned. That never described Anastasia. Her older sisters carried the family dignity, she carried the levity. She never hid behind a polite smile. In fact, she rarely hid anything, except maybe plans for her next prank. She smiled her widest smiles, no matter who was watching. She made faces when she felt silly. It was obvious when she was irritated. If she had something clever to say, you would hear it. The Imp, they teasingly called her. Alexei's big sister, the sweet and spicy child of the Romanovs, lit the fire under everyone's heels. Her personality was an undying flame.

Perhaps that's why I could never accept her death.

No, I did not know her personally. But I studied the Romanovs' lives for most of my own until that fateful night in the library. It was a visiting exhibit on the Special Collections level, "The Fall of the Last Tsar," with replicas of fabrige eggs, a transcribed copy of one of Lenin's journal, old photographs, details of Rasputin's murder, and most precious of all, an actual collection of papers taken from the Tsarina's boudoir. The head of Special Collections, Genevieve Waldon, knew me well, and had invited me in to review it with the rest of the staff before it was made accessible to the public.

I'm not sure how I spotted the note. Alexandra's papers were spread out inside a glass case, most of them personal letters between her and Nicholas. A yellowing journal page about the Grand Duchesses' new tutor caught my attention. I had read a transcription of it before in my research. As I ran over the familiar words, I noticed that there was a small corner of another piece of paper poking out from behind it.

"Dr. Waldon," I called. Genevieve stepped away from the display of fabrige eggs, where she had been showing the internal mechanism to some of the staff members from other departments.

"Aldeen." Her eyes sparkled. "Amazing collection, isn't it?"

"I could stand here all day. But I was wondering, look right there. This journal page-"

"Queen Alexandra's. The actual page, too. This case is the only part of the exhibit that contains originals."

"Yes. Do you see that side there? What's underneath it?"

Genevieve squinted. "Well... what in the world?"

Twenty minutes later, Genevieve had the exhibit's team of handlers lifting off the heavy glass lid. All of us visitors were brushed aside and ordered to stay back. The gloved hand of a specialist reached in and carefully turned over the journal page. As she did so, a small piece of stiff paper fluttered away, landing on the padded table. Genevieve glared at the shocked team of specialists.

"Explain," she demanded.

A tall man with square glasses and gray flecks in his hair cleared his throat. "I supervised this case, Dr. Waldon, and I promise you there was nothing sticking together when we set it up."He squirmed a little as Genevieve continued to glare. I almost felt guilty for spotting his mistake.

The same red-haired woman who had turned over the journal page now carefully picked up the note. It was blank except for two brief lines scrawled along the bottom. "I can't make out the script," she said.

Genevieve moved forward to examine it. "It's in Russian," she said, then turned to look at me. "Aldeen? Would you mind?"

My face reddened as everyone in the room looked my way. "Of course not," I said, and hurried over to the case. I was so excited, I could have sworn my heart was tripling its usual rhythm.

It took me almost no time to decipher the lines, but my brain would not process the information.

"It... it doesn't make any sense," I said. I stared in confusion at the note, feeling Genevieve stare at me just outside my peripheral vision. I looked up at the gloved woman holding the note out for me, then at the man in glasses across the room. "How did this get here?"

"What does it say, Aldeen?"

I made a feeble attempt to clear my throat. "It says, 'You have seen them. The Romanovs live.' And," I whispered, "it's in my handwriting."

Then the world went black.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Summer Hike

Images glance across 60,000 lenses of the dragonfly,
three hundred and sixty degrees of life flooding his brain;
speed is his native mother.
Two solid humans, slow as stone,
are a temporary blockade along the summer path:
he is the first of the season.

Four booted feet grind the solitary face of the hillside,
his earthy walls settling with a grumble in their wake;
centuries have composed his profile.
These hikers, fluttering like insects around his ears,
are just two more witnesses to his ageless wisdom:
he is always the last one standing.

Thousands of thoughts break from the two companions,
a valley of possibilities springing from the summit ahead;
human life is so linear.
This moment, hanging like a star on Orion's belt,
proves that time is subject to the beating of hearts:
they are the meridian of a lifetime.


**Okay, I post these for two reasons: 1) to share my thoughts and 2) for help in accomplishing the goals of my individual writing pieces.

SO. If you could let me know what you got out of this poem, that would be wonderful. For example:

"I didn't understand what the point of stanza #__ was. When you said _____________, did you mean ___________? I don't get it, is it day or night?" Et cetera.

Thank you!
-Stacy

Friday, April 17, 2009

Terabithia

I'm definitely too old to play children's games.
Way too young to act like I'm old.
But I found Terebithia.

I was bouncing from left foot to right down a steep dirt path, my backpack whispering with each jolt on the mountainside.The ground was wet from yesterday's melted snow, the creek was loud with it. There I found Terebithia and an untamed wood.

The log bridge was thin and stripped of bark. It was more sturdy than it looked. With one foot I tested the stability of the wooden slat that spanned the rest of the crossing. I was as cautious as I was uninhibited. Yet death was so far away, even as I leapt through decomposing leaves up another steep path; they were like spiderwebs fused together, or Miss Havisham's old lace.

And then the huge stone, surprisingly warm as my fingertips pressed against it in passing. It was a living thing, the boundary between creek and wood, the four walls of my new sanctuary.

And now I sit and write, thinking about the ghosts of myself that dance around me. The brave ten year old child that I was, crossing the creek over and over again to prove that I could; the brooding teenager crouching dramatically at the top of the sunny stone; the seven year old hunting through the dirt and turning over rocks looking for bugs; the nine year old, trying to decide if it would be cruel to flick a bug off of her pants; the frightened eighteen year old wishing she wasn't so alone. And the Now Me trying to hold all of us in.

I found Terabithia.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Something New

So, my mom is a composer and my dad, brother, and sister are songwriters. They've all pretty much told me they wouldn't mind if I wrote them some lyrics to work with, so I decided to give it a try!

This is my first set of lyrics. My sister Stephanie put it to music with her guitar. *EDIT: She had me lay down a cello track playing simple chords. I'm not a huge fan of how that turned out, but oh well. Check it.

Into the Sun
[Dedicated to our niece, Aria Wilhelm for her 7th birthday]

No force can ever pull me down
now that I’m finally off the ground.
It’s gonna take everything I’ve got and even more.
There’s no winning if you don’ try.
I’d rather lose mid-flight than give up my right to fly
I don’t blame

Icarus or his waxen wings,
cause I’m flying into the sun
and after my dreams.

This current flowing beneath my wings
tells me I’m suddenly coming free.
It’s keeping me high above the sharks that wait below.
New hope is kindling in my eyes.
I’ll never doubt again when all within me cries
to follow

Icarus with his waxen wings
and try flying into the sun
and after my dreams.

If you believe good things must end
don’t cry when everything crashes in;
I may be falling from the sky but I’m still on the rise.
That sunlight burning within my mind
reminds me once again I’m glad that I could find
inside me

Icarus and his waxen wings
while I’m flying into the sun
and after my dreams.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Old poems made new

Prayer
Make of me what you will:
A vessel, Lord, of thine to fill;
'Wheat and tares together sown,'
Unto joy or sorrow grown.
Justice and mercy together entwined;
Form me a cord, to strengthen and bind
'like son to sire', my heart to thine.
Desire and will: one type, one mind.



Unblinded
There were years of youth
where folly reigned and selfish pride was king
of wasted days and hollow nights;
Where misery was truth.

There was a minute
when, weathered, I felt captainless and weak
beyond God’s love; when suddenly
I felt myself wrapped in it.

I heard a vow,
transcendent like the shining sunlit night
A harmony there in my ears:
‘Take up the fielding plough.’




Love on Ice
If I told the story of love through my paint
I would brush-stroke you blue;
Wistful, like the world was new, with
Fire in your eyes.

“I swear by the flowers that I haven’t sent
I would take you to me.”
I knew all along it would always be
fire first, then ice.